How To Handle First Child When Second Is Born?
What will change?
Bringing a second child into the world and having to take care of two children at the same time can be difficult at first. Your best bet will be to organize well before the baby is born, although it can be a challenge.
She will be much busier and will have to juggle her schedule. You may get tired more easily, even before the baby is born because caring for a child while pregnant consumes a lot of energy.
After the birth of your second child, expect the first six to eight weeks to be especially demanding and exhausting. You will be trying to get your youngest child to develop a regular feeding and sleeping schedule while attending to the needs of your older child.
A positive change that will bring the birth of your second child will be an increase in the confidence you will have in your skills, knowledge, and experience as a mother. Tasks that seemed very complicated when his first child was born (such as breastfeeding, changing diapers and taking care of him when he became ill) will now come out almost automatically, instead of experiencing them as real crises.
The arrival of a new baby home will affect you in many different ways, both physically and emotionally.
From a physical point of view, you will most likely feel sore and very tired after delivery, especially if you have had a difficult birth or have had a C-section. This will make feeding your baby hard at night, especially if you opt for breastfeeding.
Ask for help from a "postpartum care doula" (a woman whose training enables her to take care of the mother and the baby during a couple of weeks immediately after delivery) or a "baby nurse" (expert in newborns) during the waking hours will allow you to recover the rest and sleep you need so much.
From an emotional point of view, do not be surprised that you are concerned about the process of forming a bond with your baby. You may worry that you don't feel as much love for the newcomer as you feel for your eldest son. It will; As mothers and fathers often comment, paternal love is doubled, one way or another when a second child is born.
Do you feel a little sad? "Postpartum sadness" can scare you, but you are not alone. Talk to your doctor about your symptoms. It is important to distinguish between "postpartum sadness", which is usually overcome in a few weeks, and postpartum depression, a serious disorder that can lead to emotional and sleep problems if left untreated. If you begin to feel very depressed or anxious or think about harming yourself or harming the baby, ask your doctor for help immediately.
Expect to have little or no time for yourself during the first months after the birth of your second child. Sleepless nights and everyday tensions can overcome you, so be sure to make time for yourself a priority. Even spending a few hours away from home and with yourself can help you be more calm and relaxed.
Also, you and your partner will realize that you barely spend time alone together; therefore, be sure to schedule outings with your partner as soon as things are normalized.
Your older child may experience a wide range of emotions, from illusion to jealousy, or even resentment towards the newcomer. Young children (between one and three years of age), who still cannot verbalize their feelings, may have regressive behaviors (typical of previous stages), such as sucking their fingers again, striving to use the bottle, forgetting their newborn acquired ability to use the toilet and communicate using babies' own speech to get attention.
Older siblings who have already turned three can express their feelings by testing their parents' patience, misbehaving, having tantrums, or refusing to eat. These problems are usually transitory, and a little preparation can help the older brother adapt to the idea of welcoming his younger brother.
Tips that will help you cope with the arrival of the baby''
To face the added responsibilities of having a second child, try the following tips before the "big day."
- Put together fast and easy meals to prepare. If you feel like cooking before the baby is born, double the food and freeze it. When the baby is born, you will find it difficult to find the energy to start cooking. Have on hand the menus of some restaurants that prepare takeaway food, including a few that deliver food at home.
- Consider reorganizing the laundry system, reserving a basket for each family member or for each child to make it easier for them to sort and fold clothes. The accumulation of dirty clothes is usually the main complaint of parents: it seems to triple when a new baby arrives, so you have to organize.
- If possible, use items that you already have at home (or that your relatives lend you), instead of having to buy everything new. Provided they meet the established safety criteria, "second-hand" items, such as cribs, bassinet, strollers, chairs, high chairs, and baby clothes, can help you save time and money.
- Keep a bag full of diapers and all the necessary items in the car to always be well prepared. Many parents keep in the car a little bag of toys for the older brother and a bag of diapers, cleaning wipes, a change of clothes and an extra blanket for the baby.
- Have a book or a small toy box handy in your room, in the living room and even in the sink or in the washing machine room to offer it to your older child so he can entertain himself while you feed the baby. bathe or perform housework.
- Ask a family member to spend several days at home after the baby is born, if your presence does not bother you. That person will not only be delighted, but you can enjoy the rest you need so much.
- If possible, hire a cleaning service that handles household chores once a week for a couple of months after the baby is born
- Find out about available resources at social or religious service centers in your area. There are many programs and classes that offer activities and social support for families with young children.
- Do not forget to meet your own needs. Pamper yourself, even with something as simple as cutting your hair or taking a bath with candles and music, to relax after a tiring day.
Allow everyone a little time to get used to the "new reality" of having a second child at home. Then, they can celebrate the many positive aspects of being a larger family.
